298. Test for Texters

FU Cn Rd Ths, U cnt Spl Wrth A Dm.

I don’t know how to “text”, for two reasons:

1.  As a professional social outcast, I don’t have any friends to communicate with, and . . .

2.  My household only has one cell phone — my son Matthew’s Jitterbug phone which was invented previous to the birth of Alexander Graham Bell.  

I like to think it’s just as well my thumbs have not become fluent at texting.  People who are proficient at texting, probably forget how to spell.  According to the Sisters of Charity, who educated me and my siblings at St. Patrick’s School in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, this, my dear friend, is a fate way worse than death. You can’t go to heaven if you don’t know how to spell.

The problem with texting has to do largely with eliminating your vowels. In today’s lexicon of text, vowels have become exceedingly constipated. 

As an example, let’s take the question: “If a word is spelled wrong in the dictionary, how would we know?” 

If you had to text the question, you might resort to this:  

“f a wrd S spelled rong n d dxNre, hw w%d we knw?”

I don’t try to communicate like this myself, because I’m afraid people will think I’m an orangutan. I think I would rather woof and snort.

Please leave a comment if you agree.  And it you don’t, leave one anyway, in English, or even in text.  I promise I won’t tell the Sisters on you.

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6 Responses to 298. Test for Texters

  1. Joan Fitzpatrick says:

    I totally agree !!!!!!!!

  2. Tim Fitzpatrick says:

    Denise had at one time set a goal to “never type with her thumbs”. Everyone who knows Denise also knows how much she adores her nieces and nephews (blood, adopted and by marriage). One time last year she was waiting anxiously to hear how our niece Kaillyn had done in a basketball game. She left two or three voice mails and didn’t hear back. After about an hour I texted Kaitlyn and I heard back from her in less than 60 seconds.

    Denise now not only types with her thumbs but she is starting to spell without vowels too! If you want to communicate these whipersnappers you have to do it on thier terms.

  3. Linda Lewis says:

    Hi Pat
    I have had to resort to texting in order to keep in touch with my grand kids. Trouble I have with my Iphone is that it thinks it is so smart and tries to suggest words as I type instead of the words I want. So messages go out with strange words out of context and I get a lot of ??? back if I don’t carefully proof read my message.
    I just got back in town so I am way behind on emails.Glacier Ntl Park does not have internet. Of course your blogs are the first things I want to read.
    I wish Word Press would have a spell check for comments!!
    Best to you,
    Linda

  4. Chris says:

    Well, if you can blog till you’re 80, you can text till you’re 90, right?

  5. Gretchen says:

    Hi Grandma,
    I agree that the prevalence of texting can detract from the spelling aptitude of young students. Also I’ve noticed that people rarely use cursive and printing skills anymore and instead favor typing on the computer or phone. When I prepare to write a paper I write it out by hand and revise it before typing it, which I know makes me sound like a dinosaur to young college students who can think directly to the computer while they’re typing eliminating the need to write by hand. It will be interesting to see what happens to cursive, printing and other writing skills as more technological advancements are introduced in the future. I’m so interested in these trends!
    Gretchen

  6. A relative says:

    I have just started texting with my kids cause they respond so much faster than the phone. It is hard for me to give up the old fashion conventions of good grammar and spelling. I know they laugh at my long messages that start with “Dear” and end with “Love you, Mother” haha. Just can’t help myself!

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