Elizabeth is the youngest child of my nephew Tim Fitzpatrick. I haven’t seen her since she was four years old, but that doesn’t stop me from avidly stalking the internet or my nieces’ albums for any photos and intel I can find on her. Isn’t she a beauty?
Never having met CJ, you might think I don’t have the nerve to give him (and Elizabeth) some advice. But hey, I’m Octo-woman. It’s my job. You need me guys. Follow this good advice from my internet research and you will find that the hazards of marriage are more than manageable.
For CJ: HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN
Compliment her. Respect her. Honor her. Cuddle her. Caress her. Love her. Kiss her. Stroke her. Buy things for her. Comfort her. Protect her. Hug her. Hold her. Spend money on her. Wine and dine her. Listen to her. Care for her. Stand by her. Support her. Hold her.
For Elizabeth: HOW TO PLEASE A MAN
Show up naked.
I really enjoy being helpful. It’s the least I can do.
Have a very happy anniversary, Elizabeth and CJ. I hope you have at least sixty more.