231. Mailing Address

Forget Park Avenue or Buckingham Palace or 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. If you want to have a memorable mailing address, Octo-woman is here to help.

The very best addresses in my family come from residents of the Southwest.

Whenever any of my kids ask where their aunt and uncle Leo and Peggy Gorman or their cousins Beth & Bob Brown live in Arizona, I get to jump up and yell “SURPRISE!”


There surely isn’t a dull day in Surprise, Arizona. People there have an catchy address that kinda jumps out at you.

I’ve been thinking about this because some of my relations are planning to move to the Pacific Northwest soon.  My great niece and great nephew-in-law Heather & Dan Roecker and their children, as well as Heather’s parents Chris & Mark Milner are all packing up the wagon train for the long journey out this way.  The Roeckers are coming from Utah, the Milners from Iowa.

.

.

.

.

.

.

At this time, they’re planning to settle in Portland, Oregon, but they should reconsider that.  Think about their Christmas cards.  Wouldn’t lot be classier and more creative to have a return address that shows they live in one of these other cities of Oregon:

Boring, Oregon
Axehandle, Oregon
Drain, Oregon
Jawbone Flats, Oregon
Sinks, Oregon
Zigzag, Oregon
Kansas City, Oregon

People would respect them for it.  Who else would consider living in those towns? It would be a kindness to the other people who have to live there. 

And those on the Roecker and Milner Christmas card lists would get so they’ll know who the card is from without even opening it.  Nobody will ever have to wonder, “Who do we know in Drain?”

If you happen to be planning a move in the near future and want to have an unforgettable return address, allow me to assist you.  Pick your state from the list below, and I know you’ll be able to find a city that will be worthy of your one-of-a-kind personality.

Burnt Corn, Alabama
Dogpatch, Alaska
Montana, Alaska
Fort Misery, Arizona
Two Guns, Arizona
Toad Suck, Arkansas
Helltown, California
Hooker, California
Tincup, Colorado
Bedlam Corner, Connecticut
Nooseneck, Delaware
Hitchapukasse, Florida
Hopeulikit, Georgia
Volcano, Hawaii
Hellhole, Idaho
Roachtown, Illinois
Loafers Station, Indiana
Last Chance, Iowa
What Cheer, Iowa
Flush, Kansas
Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky
Cranky Corner, Louisiana
Purgatory, Maine
Accident, Maryland
Crapo, Maryland
Dulls Corner, Maryland
Belchertown, Massachusetts
Hell, Michigan
Embarrass, Minnesota
Shanty Town, Minnesota
Needmore, Mississippi
Frankenstein, Missouri
Tightwad, Missouri
Pray, Montana
Worms, Nebraska
Roach, Nevada
Beans, New Hampshire
Rudeville, New Jersey
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Paradox, New York
Boogertown, North Carolina
Buttzville, North Dakota
Fleatown, Ohio
Bowlegs, OklahomaBoring, Oregon
Beersville, Pennsylvania
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Hog Island, Rhode Island
Coward, South Carolina
Crook City, South Dakota
Little Hope, Tennessee
Tater Peeler, Tennessee
Tennessee, Tennessee
Yum Yum, Tennessee
Cut and Shoot, Texas
Looneyville, Texas
Hardup, Utah
Virgin, Utah
Mosquitoville, Vermont
Satans Kingdom, Vermont
Goblintown, Virginia
New Erection, Virginia
Humptulips, Washington
Stuck, Washington
Fanny, West Virginia
Hoohoo, West Virginia
Fussville, Wisconsin
Hustler, Wisconsin
Dumbell, Wyoming

You may be asking yourself why my own mailing address says “Seattle”, when I could have a cool one like “Humptulips”, Washington.   I’ve been asking myself the same question.  I’m calling the moving van tomorrow.  

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to 231. Mailing Address

  1. A relative says:

    Some of those names are so funny that I thought for a moment that Octowoman was making them up but I did a bit of research and these locations are for real!! haha

  2. Tim Fitzpatrick says:

    I had a customer in Flippin, AR and one of my best customers is just around the corner from Paint Lick, KY. Makes you wonder who the dumb kid was that got them to name thier village Paint Lick?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s