If you know of his whereabouts, please call her at once before she reports him to the police as a missing person. He is 24 years old, dark-haired, good-looking, and was last seen going to college somewhere in Oregon.
Octo-woman has been feverishly scratching around in all the old photo albums all day. “I know he must be here somewhere”, she wheezes. “Perhaps he has become invisible and doesn’t wish to be located. Perhaps he’s been working for the CIA and had to go undercover. Maybe he’s been put under the Witness Protection Act and all his photos and dossier had to be confiscated.”
Rest assured, Octo-woman will leave no birthstone unturned until she finds and rescues the boy from wherever he is entrapped and hidden.
And then she’ll be able to tell you all about him.
In the meantime, she did unearth one photo from his childhood. Here he is shown with his parents, Danny and Yong Ford. He might have been about 10 years old at the time, before he learned how to become invisible. His dad – my nephew Danny – works in Korea where he does engineering things for the U.S. Army. His mother, Yong, recently transferred to Madigan Army Hospital in Tacoma, where she works in nuclear medicine. Danny hopes to join her in the Pacific Northwest this summer.
Octo-woman hasn’t been in contact with Alex’s parents yet because she doesn’t want them to know their son has been mislaid. It would cause them undue worry, and besides, she knows she has the situation completely under control. He’s in those photo albums somewhere, darn it, she’s sure of it.
Alex has 5 cousins of varying degrees of relativity who share his birth year of 1987. These are the two of Alex’s Great Uncle Bob Ford’s grandsons who were born in 1987, and will thus turn 24 years old this year.
On the left is Andrew Ford, son of Jeff & Vicky, on the right is Jacob Adam Ward, son of Jenny (Ford) and Jim Ward. They certainly look young for their age, don’t they? Whenever she can’t find photos to rip off of Facebook, Octo-woman’s photo albums reliably contain the Fountain of Youth.
This is Alex’s cousin Scott James Ford, his grandfather Don’s grandson. On the right is his Great Uncle Gene’s and my granddaughter Arden Tenjou (formerly Gwendolyn Demelza Taylor). Here they are in their 24 year-old glory, come July.
All this kinda sounds like the Book of Genesis. Don begat Danny who begat Alexander, and Don also begat James who begat Scott; while at the same time, Bob begat Jeff who begat Andrew, and Bob also begat Jenny who begat Jacob, and so on. I thought you’d want to know.
As soon as Missing Persons comes up with the whereabouts and activities of the misplaced Alex, Octo-woman is prepared to reveal all.
Stay tuned for his exciting story. (Otherwise, she’ll probably make one up, and trust me, you won’t want that, Alex.)