226. The Twenty and the One

Even though it’s Holy Week, it’s fine to tell jokes. Right? 

“Oh, okay, Sister.”  (My imaginary Sister Mary Leonella just advised me that jesting might be acceptable, but I’m supposed to keep it clean.  Squeaky clean.)  

So here goes. 

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.

 The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. “I’ve had a pretty good life,” the twenty proclaimed. “Why I’ve been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean . . .” 

“Wow!” said the one-dollar bill. “You’ve really had an exciting life!” 

“So, tell me,” says the twenty, “where have you been throughout your lifetime?” 

The one dollar bill replies, “Oh, I’ve been to the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church, the Presbyterian church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church . . .”

The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, “What’s a church?”

So that’s it.  End of joke. ( “Whaddya think, Sister? Can you put the ruler away now?”)

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4 Responses to 226. The Twenty and the One

  1. A relative says:

    A mother was talking to her young son and was telling him to be good. The son said I will be good for a penny. The mother said why can’t you be like your father and be good for nothing.

  2. Tim Fitzpatrick says:

    A little boy comes home from church with two black eyes. His mother was horrified, “how do you come home from CHURCH with two black eyes”, asked his mother.

    “Well”, the little b0y explains, “you know Mrs O’Leary don’t you?”

    “Yes” says his mother.

    “Well”, he goes on, “she was sitting in front of me when the priest walked in, and when she stood up her dress was kind of stuck between her cheeks, so I reached up and pulled it out for her”.

    Now his mother is really horrified and says, “I can see how you got that black eye, but how did you get the other one?”

    “Well”, he says, “I figured if she didn’t like it out so I reached over and put it back in.”

    Mom fainted!

  3. Faithful follower of Goingon80 says:

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. When something fell out he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
    “Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.
    “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.
    With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, “It’s Adam’s Suit!”

  4. A relative says:

    Adam should have kept his pants on

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