125. Lottery Fever

Today I remembered one more New Year’s resolution I meant to make.  Do you think it will count if I missed the first week?  Well, delinquent or not, here it is: I am resolved to win the lottery this year.

Why such a resolution occurred to me is that this week, a couple from Ephrata, Washington won $190 million dollars in the Mega Millions lottery. After careful consideration, I decided that that was something I would like to do, too.

Winning a lottery is probably not easy, but I am up to the challenge.  Don’t forget that among my other resolutions, I am planning to lose 10 pounds this year.  This should prove my mettle when it comes to facing life’s obstacles and hardships. Giving up Macademia Nut Clusters is surely a whole lot more agonizing than concocting a string of numbers.

According to my AARP magazine, one of the benefits of going on 80 is that I have now acquired wisdom.  Thank goodness. I was needing that. It will be helpful in meeting my objective of winning a lottery because it tells me that the first thing I must do is to formulate a Plan of Action.


1. Estimate cost of project and determine source of funding:  I have decided that I will procure a one-dollar lottery ticket per week for the remainder of the year, for a total investment of $51.  I will either borrow these funds from my son, Matthew, or else, I will schedule a garage sale. It’s a  lot of money, but I feel that $190 million dollars is a reasonable return on a $51 investment.

2.  Determine location of lottery ticket suppliers: Costco has informed me that they do not, have not, and will not be supplying me with lottery tickets and to quit asking. As they are the only brick and mortar store I frequent, I have a supply problem.

If I lived in California, I could buy the ticket online at lottogopher.com – but this is not California. The Washington State Lottery has not yet been introduced to internet shopping, so the tickets can only be purchased in stores operated by human persons. But where are these stores?

In my neighborhood in Seattle, the closest location I could find listed on the lottery’s website is the Plaid Pantry at 1000 NE 50th Street.  Since my usual mode of transportation is shanks’ mare (look it up), Google Maps says this will be an 88 minute round-trip walk. Nasty. Now I know why I’ve never “played” the lottery.

I have to look at this from all sides. On the one hand, an 88 minute brisk walk once per week might fit in nicely with my parallel resolution of losing 10 pounds, but on the other hand, I don’t like it when dogs bite me. Also, too much exercise could be harmful to my Reebok shoes and to my vision of the leisure life which I someday hope to attain. And going that far from home, I might get lost and then what would Matthew or Ford Video do without me?The police officers will surely object if they have to bring me home on a regular weekly schedule.

Or I could take the bus.  The bus could get me to the Plaid Pantry in 11 minutes one way, and as a “Senior”, I would pay 75 cents.  In total, that would be 22 minutes round trip at a cost of $1.50 to buy a $1 lottery ticket.  Even for Octo-woman, that seems excessive.

I can only think of one solution.  I will have to become a Retailer for the Washington State Lottery. Of course, there will be some initial start-up capital required – $40 for the one-time license and $200 in start-up expense, but according to their website, they will provide all the equipment and training. I will not only be able to conveniently purchase one ticket per week, but I will EARN 6 percent on any ticket anyone else buys.  Imagine that.  I love it when I can solve seemingly insoluble problems with creative solutions.  This is one of the benefits of having wisdom.

I will complete and submit the application forthwith, and will let you know how it all turns out.

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7 Responses to 125. Lottery Fever

  1. keytimer says:

    I will complete and submit the application forthwith, and will let you know how it all turns out.

    …I bet you will. :o)

  2. Joan Fitzpatrick says:

    I think that you would not be able to purchase a ticket from your own station. We had a friend who sold tickets at his gas station, and he had to go somewhere else to buy a ticket. Couldn’t someone pick one up in their travels. Tom buys two each week, one for Wednesday drawing and one for Friday. He also buys scratch-offs. Sometimes the scratch-offs finance the other tickets.

    Good Luck !!!!!!

  3. Denise says:

    Aside from all that, I resolve to use the term “shanks’ mare” in a sentence at least once this year. It’s kind of fun to say, actually. And a very doable resolution.

    I’ll let you all know how that turns out.

  4. Rene' Melchior says:

    I have 3 stores to chose from all located on the same corner of the TN/AL state line, being that AL does not allow the Lottery, it is on the TN side, 3 minute drive. The evening before the last big win, there was no available parking after 5pm. I would be very willing to buy you a ticket in the TN area, and send it to you. It would be interesting to know if the winners chose their own numbers or if the computer chose for them. Sometimes random numbers win also. I think you could widen your odds if you spread your tickets accross the country by using your reletives as buyers. It may be cheaper!

  5. Gretchen Covey says:

    Mom, I’m happy to take you to the Plaid Pantry once a week!

  6. susy says:

    Our family has already won the biggest lottery in the world just by having you in it!
    You are the best mom, grandma, octo-woman, friend and inspiration to us all.
    Keep up the terrific writing. You are so funny and very special too.
    Love you.

  7. Joan Fitzpatrick says:

    I agree with Susy.

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