103. Pop Quiz for Dementia

So far, I don’t know of anybody in our our large extended family who has dementia (if you rule out the suggestive hints volleyed my way from time to time).

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; “If you don’t use it, you will lose it,” also applies to the brain.  (I am a Conscientious Objector when it comes to exercise but I’m faithful at spreading the propaganda.)

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still “with it”.

OK, relax, clear your mind and…. begin.

1.  What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: “bread.” If you said “toast,” then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, “bread,” go to Question 2.

2.  (Jenny (Ford) and Jim Ward are disqualified from answering this question since they used to operate a dairy.)
Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” Now answer this question: what does a cow drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something less taxing, such as “Highlights for Children”.  If you said “water,” proceed to question 3.

3.  My sister-in-law Arlis Ford has relatives living in Germany and besides her and Bob, several members of the family have visited (or engaged in warfare) there. My nieces Leanne (Gorman) Dudas and Beth (Gorman) Brown travelled there after they finished college.  My grandson Neil Warden and granddaughter Colleen Taylor, both went on trips there and I know more did too. Maybe they’ll have the edge on getting the right answer to the this question:

Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? In East Germany or West Germany or in “no man’s land”?

Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you need help, and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors,” proceed to question 4.

4.  None of the younger people in my family use watches.  They get the time from their cell phones which are never far from reach. But if you have access to that old-fashioned contraption called a clock, please answer this question: if the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree! If you said, “360 degrees” or anything other than “one degree,” you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

5.  Without using a calculator — You are driving a bus in Iowa from Cedar Rapids to Marion. In Marion, 17 people get on the bus. In Hiawatha, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Iowa City, two people get off and four get on. In Amana, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Clinton, three people get off and five people get on. In Dubuque, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive in Ankeny. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember? It was YOU!!

Now test all your friends and hope they do better then you did!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to 103. Pop Quiz for Dementia

  1. Josie Warden says:

    Ahh! I got almost all of them wrong! What kind of sick joke is this?!

  2. Joan Fitzpatrick says:

    I’m just glad it was NOT y0u driving the bus, or we would not have made it to all of those places.

  3. Tina says:

    Hey, Octo-Woman! Your blog is hilarious! Lisa Marie told me you were inspired by my “50th Year” project — I’m thrilled! You are an inspiration, dementia or not. I can only hope to be so witty when I reach 80! Happy holidays –

    – Tina

  4. Gretchen Covey says:

    Fun Quiz. I failed at the clock question but do I get credit for driving you in our ‘bus’ all over town?

  5. Chris Milner says:

    Hey, I thought I was driving this bus from Cedar Rapids to Marion! How the heck did I end up in Ankeny??? Sounds more like the kind of route YOU would be driving! Moline, here we come!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s