91. What’s My Line?

Isn’t it cool when somebody’s last name is the same as their occupation?  Like these for instance.

Optometrist . . . . . . .  Kent C. Strait
Dentist. . . . . . . . . . . .  Les Plack
Cemetery worker. . .  Phil Graves
Restaurant Owner. .  Sam Manilla
Dog Trainer. . . . . . . .  Betty Barker

Sometimes son Matthew and grandson Bryce and I sit around thinking up names we might like to have. One night I was telling them that if my last name was “Bell”, I would want everybody to call me “Ding Dong”.  To which Matthew replied, “They already do.”  I don’t get no respect.

Today, I thought it would be interesting to learn more about the occupations of some of our family members. So here’s a pop quiz of twenty questions.  Most of these individuals are mentioned in previous blobs, but even if you don’t know the name(s) try to figure out the official term for their occupations.  Answers are at the end of the blob.

1.   Three members of my immediate family shoot people for a living.  Who are they?
2.   Which of my daughters is a hooker, and which granddaughter is a street walker?
3.   Who is my 68 year-old female relative who was recently awarded a Black Belt?
4.   Which of my nephews wears funny-looking makeup?
5.   Which of my female relatives works for a toad?
6.   One of my nieces-in-law can see inside of you. Who is she?
7.   One of my sons-in-law hob-nobs with big wheels. Who is he?
8.   What male relative comes up for air in a tank?
9.    Which of my married nieces is still being courted?
10.  One of my nephews takes people’s money away from them? How does he get away with it?
11.  Which family member is a drug dealer?
12.  One of my grandsons works with people who are stuck-up and then he tells them where they can go.  Who is he?
13.  Which of my Catholic-born nephews is now a Quaker?
14.  One of my grandsons-in-law scratches bytes for a living.  Who?
15.  Which of my nieces consorts with geniuses?
16.  Which male relative serves up soul food?
17.  Which pair of relatives are successfully raising fortunes?
18.  Which female relative is a fortune hunter?
19.  Which of my nieces spends lots of time in chains and tries not to get stoned?
20.  Which of my granddaughters sells jolts?

So here, in case you got stuck, are the names of the people maligned above along with their actual occupations,

1.   Three members of my immediate family shoot people for a living.  Who are they?
Daughter Susy Warden shoots clients for Ford Video, grandson Bryce Covey is a photographer, and son-in-law Eric Opsvig is a dentist (who shoots novocaine).

2.  Which of my daughters is a hooker, and which granddaughter is a street walker?
Daughter Judy is an nationally acclaimed fiber artist and author whose
primary craft is Nantucket rug hooking.  Granddaughter Gretchen and her husband Joe Stark operate a dog-walking service and they spend lots of time street walking.

3.   Who is my 68 year-old female relative who was recently awarded a Black Belt?

My sister-in-law Peggy Gorman has a Black Belt in Tai Chi and she teaches it.

4.   Which of my nephews wears funny-looking makeup?
My nephew Dave Ford wears makeup because he’s always clowning around.

5.   Which of my female relatives works for a toad?
My niece-in-law Carrie Fitzpatrick works in a restaurant in Cedar Rapids called the Blue Toad.

6.    One of my relatives can see inside of you. Who is she?
She’s Danny Ford’s wife Yong Chae Choe, a radiologist. (Can’t find her photo. Will add later.)

7.  One of my sons-in-law hob-nobs with big wheels. Who is he?
Curt Warden drives 18-wheeler trucks and he is not a man to be messed with by hob-nobs.

8.   What male relative comes up for air in a tank?
Nephew-in-law John Dudas (married to my niece Leanne) does brain-work for a think tank called Mitre.org in Washington D.C.  They come up with futuristic plans for things like next generation air traffic control.

9.   Which of my married nieces is still being courted?
My niece Beth Brown is an attorney in Arizona who spends hard time in court.

10.  One of my nephews takes people’s money away from them? How does he get away with it?
Nephew Jimmy Ford is president of a bank in Medford, Oregon and he never shares any of it with me so how do I find out?

11.  Which family member is a drug dealer?
My niece-in-law Teresa Fitzpatrick is a pharmacist and, no. she doesn’t know where you can buy weed.

12.  One of my grandsons works with people who are stuck-up and then he tells them where they can go.  Who is he?
It’s Neil Warden who dispatches and drives tow trucks including the Little Engine That Could.

13.  Which of my Catholic-born nephews is now a Quaker?
That would be Dennis Fitzpatrick who works for the Quaker Oats Company in Cedar Rapids. There’s a grain of truth to be found there.

14.  One of my grandsons-in-law scratches bytes for a living.  Who?
He’s Sean Smith who works for a company that designs leading edge data storage solutions.

15.  Which of my nieces consorts with geniuses?
Chris Milner, a genius herself, works for Apple, founder of the Genius Bars. Genius Bars are not sweet and they’re not nutty but they are kind of chewy.  They make your Mac feel better when it gets a tummy ache from eating too many bytes of Mars Bars.

16.  Which male relative serves up soul food?
That would be my nephew-in-law Dan Melchior, a deacon in his church where he delivers nourishment of the spiritual type.

17.  Which pair of relatives are successfully raising fortunes?
Niece Denise and her husband Craig Fortune are raising two very impressive young Fortunes named Tommy and Josie.

18.  Which female relative is a fortune hunter?
Linda Atkinson, the sister-of-my-son-in-law Brad Covey, helps her clients find fortunes which are then printed and inserted into the fortune cookies she markets in her company called The Gifted Cookie.

19.  Which of my nieces spends lots of time in chains and  stones?
This would be Jenny (Ford) Ward, an artist and creator of prized elegant jewelry.

20.  Which of my granddaughters sells jolts?
Sonja Opsvig works at Starbucks where jolts are for sale to qualified Seattlelites. Only natives have the stamina to ingest that much caffeine.

That’s it for now.  Don’t work too hard!


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One Response to 91. What’s My Line?

  1. Joan Fitzpatrick says:

    You are so clever. How do you find room in that brain of yours for everything ?

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