79. How To Talk Turkey

We still had more snow in Seattle last night and we’re getting ready for a White Thanksgiving.  To prove it, check out granddaughter Josie’s website here for some photos of the white stuff. It’s for real. http://365memories.blogspot.com/

Now about the Thanksgiving Day feast. The one thing I don’t like about Thanksgiving is the turkey.  I don’t have anything against the bird personally. you understand. Some of my best friends are turkeys.  It’s just that I’d rather not mingle with them in the kitchen.

It’s not the roasting of the bird that prejudices me.  Nor the eating of it.  It’s the aftermath. The presentation of the roasted turkey comes with a built-in guilt complex.  What are you going to do with all those leftovers?

As a child of the Great Depression, there’s no way edible leftover turkey meat is going straight into my yard waste container.  Which only leaves rescue to the dinner guests.

Everyone in my family knows the drill. As soon as somebody gets up to leave, the hostess leaps to her feet.  “How about some leftovers?” she asks brightly. “Oh, sure”, is the required, if strained, reply.  At that, everyone stands around waiting while the determined cook – up to her armpits in bones, skin, fat and grease –  frantically carves and divides up the remaining dark meat and the white meat into aluminum foil packets and presents them to the departing guests.

The ceremony completed, the guests take their packets home and share the contents with the dog and their own yard waste container.

This year, Thanksgiving dinner is going to be at daughter Susy’s house.  All I have to bring is my world-famous over-boiled carrots and lime jello with sour kumquats.  Susy is planning to roast a turkey but if it’s not too late, I’m going to suggest an alternative.

My granddaughter Colleen Taylor recently started working part-time at a gourmet sandwich restaurant in the University District called Jimmy John’s. Whenever she tells me about it, I hang on every word. What they’re doing there is my idea of “fast food”.

One of my new secret unfulfilled desires is to learn how to crank out a gourmet sandwich in 30 seconds and apparently Jimmy John’s is the place to do it. This is my idea of an advanced cooking technique.  And according to their website, I will even be allowed to visit their establishment without wearing a shirt or shoes.

I’m going to suggest to Susy that instead of the traditional meal on Thursday, we should all travel to the University District and have Colleen serve us each a gourmet Turkey Tom sandwich, made up of fresh sliced turkey breast, topped with lettuce, tomato, alfalfa sprouts, and mayo, and as freebies, onion, sliced cucumber, Dijon mustard, oil & vinegar, and oregano.  How’s that for a feast?

The only problem might be if we are required to eat our 30 second gourmet sandwich in 30 seconds.  But, whatever, at least there won’t be any leftovers.

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3 Responses to 79. How To Talk Turkey

  1. Josie says:

    Since you’re coming to our house for Thanksgiving I should tell you in advance that wearing a shirt and a pair of shoes is required. However, pants are optional.

  2. Colleen says:

    That is such an old picture of me!! And thankfully, Jimmy John’s is closed on Turkey Day, but I would love to make you a 30 second sandwich another day! With all the freebies.

    I’ll bring you some leftover cheesecake though! Happy Thanksgiving!

  3. Joan Fitzpatrick says:

    Tom says……………That sandwich sounds like what we buy for lunch everyday. Colleen has better trimmings than what Hardees offers.

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