012. Grandmother Dearest

It’s so sweet how granddaughter T.T. always refers to me as Grandmother Dearest.

T.T. says she’s going to use that as the title of a book she’s planning to write about me.  She seems fiercely determined to work on this project.  I can hardly wait to read it.

Her mother, my daughter Gretchen, isn’t impressed.  Mortified would be more like it.  But I said to Gretchen the same thing I say to our video clients when they’re producing documentaries: “Look, Gretchen, a good biography can’t just talk about the laundered stuff — It’s gotta show warts and all.”

And it’s true.  T.T. can’t just brag about the heroic stuff — like how fast I can chase cars, or about the time I stepped on the attack spider who was going to bite Joy and everybody else was too cowardly and powerless to do battle.  No, if she brings up my achievements, she should touch briefly at least on my fluent lying and petty thievery.  I can accept that.  I certainly don’t want T.T.’s readers to get the impression that I’m perfect, like Mother Teresa or Oprah.  I’m not even “almost perfect”.  I’m just kind of semi-perfect.

For the past three weeks, T.T. has been in Costa Rica studying Spanish.  She’s supposed to get home on Monday.  If she still remembers how to speak English, we’re going to have to have a sit-down to discuss her plans. No way is that kid going to keep all those royalties for herself.  No way in hell.

Well, I guess that’s all for tonight, children.  Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.

From Grandmother Dearest





This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to 012. Grandmother Dearest

  1. Linda Atkinson says:

    Wonderful to read before bedtime!


    🙂 Linda

  2. Bonnie Skeers says:

    This blog is a laugh riot! I look forward to reading more of her blogs. Would love to see her documentaries.

  3. Denise Fortune says:

    Did you say no way in HELL?

    I’m calling the Sisters of Mercy this second! This whole interwebs thing is sending you to the Dark Side!

  4. Linda Lewis says:

    Pat, I wonder if T.T. wrote notes as ammo on all those Post-It notes you would give her. They ended up everywhere! She would march into your editing studio, and quick as a blink, you would supply here with more. You unapollogetically told me that she had a thing about Post-It notes. Sometimes Josie would be with her. No telling what they did with them all. You know, they come in very handy in organizing thoughts in writing…Stay tuned!

  5. thcovey says:

    Hehe well right now I’m going back through all your posts as I research for my English paper about your blog that’s due tomorrow.. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s