9. Hooking

It’s important to have an open mind, children.  Try to do so now.

My daughter Judy is a hooker.

Judy and my son-in-law Gary live on a farm on the Green River.  Imagine how I worried during the years the Green River Killer was out there hunting down all those ladies of ill-repute.  No busy hard-working hooker was safe, not even my enterprising daughter.

Judy used to drive around at night on a motorcycle but I’m certain it couldn’t out-pace the killer’s van.  “Judy”, I’d say full of concern, “The money’s not worth it.”  But would she listen? Of course not.  What do mothers know?

GOTCHA !

Now let’s back up a bit.  Every word I just told you is the absolute truth.  Honest.  Unlike the conclusions you may have jumped to.  This is probably a grand example of how come those insinuating, fear-breeding political attack ads are so effective.

Yes, daughter Judy was and still is a hooker – and a well-paid one, thank you.

And yes, she did used to tool around at night on her motorcycle commuting from their farm to rehearsals and performances at local theaters.  (She’s been an accomplished actress since the age of 14).   And yes, I did yell at her a lot about driving that little motorcycle on the freeway.

Judy has been a hooker for, oh, 20 years or so.  Her specialty is Nantucket Rug Hooking and she’s famous for it.  She writes books and articles about it, her work has been featured on several magazine covers, and as one craftsman told me, nationally she’s considered to be the “Queen of Nantucket rug hooking”. People besides me are always writing articles about her.

Besides hooking for a living, Judy is a shepherd.  Has a kind of biblical ring to it, doesn’t it? Her flock includes many Jacob’s sheep and Angora goats and their prize-winning fleeces help feed her spinning wheel and her hooking habit.

Judy engages in other respectable activities too.  She’s a political activist fighting for farmland preservation. Within ten years of her introduction to farming,  Judy was named chair of the King County Agriculture Commission. She’s probably the first shepherd in county history to hold that post. She hasn’t done badly for a college dropout.

She also works as a costume designer and theatrical director for Green River Community College, she designs and produces heirloom rugs, she teaches spinning and hooking, she operates a little yarn boutique at their farm,  and, oh yes, she and Gary are parents to my granddaughters Gwenie (the one who carries knives and speaks Japanese) and Colleen (the one who interns for Village Theater and who makes world-class strawberry cheesecakes that she’s too selfish to share with her elderly but kind, caring and generous going-on-80 grandmother who has Gummy Bears she’s more than willing to trade with.)

The reason I brag about Judy so much is to assuage my guilt for all the child abuse my friend Aline and I exposed her to in her childhood.  But that’s just one more secret I’m going to have to save for another day.

I have to get some rest now.  It’s not easy being the mother of a famous hooker.

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One Response to 9. Hooking

  1. Linda Lewis says:

    It’s been fun seeing Judy at the various fairs. She IS a queen!! Just like her Mama! …Now about this child abuse…I expect to read about this one of these times.

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