The University of Washington will be resuming classes in a few days. At that time, two things will happen. We will no longer be able to cross the Montlake Bridge, and eleven of my grandchildren will be sucked up into that den of iniquity known as “the groves of academe”.
Four of the little urchins will be matriculating at the esteemed U-Dub; one will be studying in Japan while selling hara-kiri knives to subsidize her tuition; one will be at Cascadia Community College (majoring in Hair Color); one is serving time at Arizona State (the university not the stockade); one is at Whitworth College wondering if maybe he shouldn’t have “dropped out” of sky-diving school; one will be a Graduate Student at a campus as yet unidentified; one will be attending Knight School at Bellevue Community College (I think she’s the only one working toward a knighthood instead of a degree); and one is an underage stowaway in the Running Start program at North Seattle Community College.
Their core courses of study seem to be subjects like Apartment Dwelling 101, Intro to Rush, Barista Fundamentals, and Principles of Mall-Shopping. Now, I don’t mean to grumble but why couldn’t any of them have applied to Hogwarts where they might actually learn something productive?
I mention this because of a nagging concern. When I ask them what they plan to major in, several have informed me that they mean to go into “Business”. I’m not sure what that entails but that’s how Tony Soprano used to refer to his waste management operation.
And apart from the way they do it in New Jersey, I have been watching all the seasons of Mad Men. It has definitely acquainted me with the perils of corporate life. This is why I have decided it is my duty to speak up.
So that what I’m going to do, kiddies. Tomorrow night. Stay tuned.